One day many years ago there was a young lady working as a fare collector at the subway station. She needed this job to pay for her university tuition (and absolutely, no, she is not your much loved Mantha!). While at work one evening a very odd thing happened, something so strange she has yet to recover from it. Let me share her story with you.
The Guy: “Excuse me Miss, but I need to have a word.”
The Girl: “Yes.”
The Guy: “Well, since walking by a few minutes ago I had to come back to talk to you.”
The Girl: “Okay…”
The Guy: “You see, I think I like you. I know it may seem odd, but I have to tell you I would like to date you.”
The Girl: “Huh?”
The Guy: “Let me get to the point. I don’t have a job…”
The Guy’s Friend: “That is true, he doesn’t work.”
The Guy: “This is why I didn’t pay the full fare, but I am looking for a work.”
The Guy’s Friend: “Yep! He is looking indeed.”
The Guy: “So for now, I couldn’t take you anywhere.”
The Guy’s Friend: “Yep! He can’t afford to take you anywhere at all!”
The Guy: “Also, I can’t invite you back to my place as I’m living with my brother, his wife and their three rude children…”
The Guy’s Friend: “Lawd-ah-mussy! These children are rude and bad!!!”
The Guy: “As you can see I don’t have anything to offer you except for honesty. So, with all that said, would you like to take me for coffee sometime?”
The Guy’s Friend: “Can I come too?”
The girl stood there processing all that was said and to this day, nearly twenty years later, still cannot come up with an answer to The Guy’s offer for her to buy him coffee.
Every time I think about that story I never know whether to laugh or cry. Then I usually conclude that The Guy should at least be given credit for his honesty.
Over the years I have come to feel sorry for The Guy because he was probably in his early twenties like my friend and not too experienced in life. But, when I was made a similar proposition by a grown man in his forties I was a lot less sympathetic.
There are some men who believe that they are desirable to all women. I suppose this may have something to do with either self-delusion and/or over indulgent mothers. This dangerous combination too frequently leads these men to put themselves out into the world proudly displaying the fact they have nothing to offer.
The Dude: “Hi, there lovely lady.”
Mantha: Looking confused, “Ummm, hi.”
The Dude: “How come I don’t see you here with anyone?”
I could only give this man a blank stare as he had rudely interrupted the conversation I was having with three of my friends who were standing around me. So, I give him the only logical answer, “Pardon?”
The Dude: “You know. A. MAN.”
I decided not to answer him as I didn’t have a polite response to give. Instead, I turned around to continue the conversation with my friends.
The Dude: Ever persistent, “Excuse me, pretty lady.”
The Dude: “You know you should give me a chance.”
Mantha: “A chance for what?” (Why is it that so many of us women are easily lured by stupid questions into conversations with unsuitable men?)
The Dude: “Well, if you give me a chance, you could drive a nice car.”
Mantha: “I have a nice car already.”
The Dude: “Oh, okay … With me you could have a nice driveway to park that car in.”
Mantha: “My car will be parked in a garage at the end of this evening.”
The Dude: “Well, if you let a man like me take care of you you’d be able to afford to live in a nice house, park your car somewhere decent and have nice things!” The Dude angrily shouted all this at me, and was so loud that people turned around to stare. At that moment I decided I had to put an end to this to allow him to preserve some dignity.
Mantha: “Let me ask you something: where do you live?”
The Dude: “With my mother….” In reply to my look of shock he quickly continued, “ I love my Mummy!”
Mantha: “Well good for you. What do you drive?”
The Dude: “If you must know, I drive a Camry.”
Mantha: “Let me guess: it’s your Mummy’s car?”
The Dude: “So! What? You want a man who hates his mother? And what the hell do you have Miss-No-Man?”
Mantha: “Well, since you’re so interested, I own my own house with a garage where I’ll park my hot little car when I get home. I’ll then climb into my queen sized bed and wakeup in a few hours to head to the airport to catch a flight for London – as in England – for a well-deserved vacation.”
The Dude: “Man! Some women are so materialistic!” Then he walked away.
Oh, what frailty it is that afflicts the ego of the delusional man! – Mantha
If The Dude at least offered something not related to the material (like the honesty offered by The Guy) he might have had a chance with someone’s daughter (but not me!)! I neither need nor want to be with a man who has nothing to bring to the table. How is The Dude going to inspire and motivate me to become a better person, do more with my life?
And to the over-indulgent ‘Mummies’ don’t even suggest that I or women like me be the ones to help your man-child. You mothers know who you are. You treat your sons like they’re little boys for whom no woman is good enough. The perfect ‘girl’ for your son is one stupid enough to give him the life he never has and never will work for. So what happens? Your man-child approaches an adult woman and lays out what he wants under guise of what he can offer. Once the woman realizes, as I did, that the man-child can’t offer a single thing he suggests, all she can do before walking away is to tell him, “That is okay, I’ve got that!”
Laters & G’Night,