I. AM. BACK!!!!!
Now ladies, you didn’t mistake my silence these past few months for abandonment did you? I’m sure a few of you may be wondering what happened. Well, the truth is a met the love of my life a few months before my 40th birthday and have simply been living and laughing!
I hope you are satisfied with my explanation because I’m not saying anything more than I am really happy.
So, let’s get on with the reason why we’re here. Before my birthday I shared my musings about my journey towards turning 40. Now I want to share my thoughts from the point of view now that I am 40.
As you know from reading my earlier blogs, I was excited to be approaching my 40th year of life and more excited now that I have crossed the threshold. However, I am not into the “40 is the new 20” nonsense.
I am 40. I am proud to be 40. I feel blessed to have had 40 years of life marked by good health. But, could someone please tell me when the heck 40 became old or something bad?
Last weekend I was at the gym (during one of my less than frequent visits) when I overheard these two twenty-something-year-old heifers talking in the change room:
Heifer A: “Like I’m starting to workout now ‘cause I don’t want to look sag and all when I get old… like when I’m 40.” (snorting laughter)
Heifer B: “I know (hyena-like laughter)!!! I can’t even imagine being that old!!”
The only thought that went through my mind after listening to that exchange was, “Really Heifers???” I lied. There was another thought that crossed my mind at that point, “How much trouble could I really get into if I slapped one of these Heifers??”
Snorting-Heifer had a large bosom (not double Ds… more like Es) that looked as droopy as the flimsy bra straps that keep sliding down her already sagging shoulders. Shall we just say that bosom and bra straps both seemed to be on a downward decline. Her friend, Hyena-Heifer, didn’t look much better. Actually, they both had lots of visible creases around their supposed ‘young’ eyes and corn-yellow teeth! In my opinion, the only thing that could make a woman – young or old – like that was smoking. I’m sure I’m right about that.
Being a now mature woman of 40 I decided not to give into temptation (or second guess my conclusion that the Heifers were both smokers) and inform these two wretches that I could see the affect that their smoking was already having on their bodies. I also decided against telling Snorting-Heifer that her bosom was at risk of reaching her knees by the time she turned 40 unless she started invested in appropriate bras. Instead I decided to leave them alone realizing they might need a few more years to mature, gain a little perspective and realize that 40 isn’t just a number, but a blessing.
Laters & G’Night